Balance is a myth, much like the American dream is nowadays. Sure you can balance on one foot possibly or if you’re really good you can go to the Olympics and do the balance beam routine and win a medal…but balance in the sense of having a work-life balance or a balance between any of the “stuff” we deal with on a daily basis is the myth I speak of.
The balance beam that most of us suck at (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I guess I should first confess that maybe there is an elite group of folks that can find balance but I will refer to them as the 1% just like the financial 1%. The rest of us are talking about balance and chasing it to the ends of the Earth with no possibility of attaining it.
I don’t know about you but here’s my life in a very brief nutshell: work at home dad, trying to build a business, married, social life, three blogs, own a home, and I do this and more while contending with depression and a lot of self doubt.
How in the hell do you balance that?
The quick answer is you can’t. Here’s what I have found, life is about subtraction not addition. If you have any hope at all in getting anywhere near balance, you must subtract. You need to become a minimalist…you need to say no more often. You need to trim the fat and focus on the shit that’s important to you.
You need to get rid of “stuff”. Get rid of debt, bills, cable, material possessions, and even the rugs and floor mats in your house (they make more work when it’s time to vacuum, sweep, or mop…so get rid of them).
Once you finish that you need to trim the mental fat. What’s eating away at you? Do whatever you have to do to start getting rid of that or at least minimizing it. We have WAY too much “stuff” (mental, emotional, financial, and physical) that clouds our ability to enjoy life and be fulfilled. It’s all that junk that sucks us in and consumes our time. I’ve spent more of my past “worrying” about what is going on with family members or other relationships, money, work, and all the other daily grind crap that I have never been able to truly “LIVE” this life.
How can you achieve (or even hope to) “balance” if you aren’t enjoying life?
You can’t. All this “stuff” I have referred to is the big, fat ass monkey on your back that keeps you weighed down and distracted from life. Trust me I’ve been on this long journey out of the dark forest of self doubt, hatred, and anger. It takes time and it takes more hard work than most are willing to put in.
I want balance even though I won’t get it…but I sure as hell can chase that myth. I can trim enough of the fat from my life to not feel all the heavy burdens and attempt to reconcile the madness.
1) Get rid of any material stuff you don’t need or use.
2) Get rid of debt as well as other bills you have that you don’t really need (like cable, etc.)
3) Get rid of the negativity in your life…even if it’s your husband or wife.
4) Now focus on you and start saying no more often. Find out who you are and what makes you happy…then do more of that.